Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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