Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
