There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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