I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
