yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
