We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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