we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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