I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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