I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
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