Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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