ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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