The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Help. Why am I so naked?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
