fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
