That's intense
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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