I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
