For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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