I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
