So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
