Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Still dying that you shit outside
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
