the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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