I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The ass gains better be worth it
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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