I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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