It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
