I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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