Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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