Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
