I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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