Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
