It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
