Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
