There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
