I'm going to jail i love you
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
