I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
A bitchslap is in order.
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