Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The struggles of a small town man whore
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
