I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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