I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
