Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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