did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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