Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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