he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
