Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
