the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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