Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
try to milk me bitch
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
