Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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