So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
