I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
