you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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