I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
