I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
whose parrot is this?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
