I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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