Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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