Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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